As a counselor, I have seen many parents run themselves ragged trying to be “The Perfect Parent” to their teenager. When their efforts fall short and the relationship with their teenager is lacking, many parents can feel frustrated and disappointed. Here are some myth busters of how to be the Perfect Parent.
In order to have a good relationship with my teenager, I need to:
1. Spend every waking moment with my teenager
Somehow there is a lofty thought that a good relationship with teenagers begins with spending all day, every day with them. As if “Perfect Parents” are the ones that spend all of their free time with their teenagers, filling their days shopping at the mall, or working gleefully together in the back yard.
Yes, and no! Spending time with their parents is something that most teenagers really want, and enjoy doing. However, teenagers also crave their independence. It is better to find a time and consistently meet with them, than to try to overcrowd your teenager. As in the end, this can drive a teenager crazy.
2. Have a serious discourse of the philosophy of life every morning.
Mornings can be a difficult time of the day for parents and teenagers. Hurried parents are often trying to get their just woken up teenagers out the door, usually with some sort of half – eaten pastry hanging out of their mouths.
Save the in depth philosophical discussions for a time when there are no distractions. Make the mornings as smooth as possible. For many people, how they start their morning will determine their mood for the remainder of the day.
3. Use every last penny of my paycheck for my teenager’s every whim
Parents want the best for their teenagers, and enjoy being able give their teenagers those gifts and gadgets they did not have during their adolescence. However, sometimes parents can get carried away and over extend themselves financially, while trying to give their teenager the best life possible.
The irony is that most teenagers do not necessarily want a lot of money showered on them. Now don’t get me wrong, most will accept monetary gifts and extravagance. But if a parent is trying to show love by spending money on them, this very well may backfire. Teenagers are quite keen at being able to distinguish between authentic affection and purchased admiration.
4. Know the answers to all of their questions
As a parent, we want to be the “go to person” for our teenager. However, some parents assume filling this position means they have to be the knowledgeable sage for all of life’s problems. As if their inability to give an answer is equivalent to being a failure as a parent.
Horse Hockey! What is a parent to do? Find someone that may know the answer. Being able to point your teenager into the right direction will encourage self determination, and it will show that you are listening and taking their questions seriously.
5. Be the “cool” parent
Many parents attempt to be the “cool” parent that blends into the teenage crowd. They dress the part, listen to the same music as their teenager, and even try to pick up the current slang of the day. While the intention of wanting to connect to the teenage world is noble, often this can result in embarrassment for both you and your teenager.
Instead, just be yourself. This is not to say that as a parent your dress attire cannot be current and contemporary. Nor that you cannot share any similar taste in music or popular culture with your teenager. However, the rule of thumb is authenticity rather than resorting to becoming an adolescent yourself by trying to “fit in.” You would probably find that your teenager’s respect for you is not based in what you wear, but in who you are.
Archive for the ‘Teenagers’ Category
Parenting Teenagers – 5 Big Fat Lies to Being a Perfect Parent
Friday, August 6th, 2010Teenagers Today -Example Scholarship Essay
Thursday, August 13th, 2009In the old days, teenagers played a secondary role in the society. They never assumed any responsibility nor was it offered. The elders usually played all the important roles and the youth was made legally responsible only after they attained certain age. In many matters, the decision of the elders was final.
Today’s teenagers, in general, have the right to obtain education. In my opinion, only the educations can increase the literacy among the teenagers and hence teenagers will have a wider range of communication. Why does communication seem to be so important? For your information, by communicating with others, we can actually exchange our ideas with them. Isn’t good for us? On the contrary, if we do not obtain education, we definitely cannot communicate well with others. This will lead to misunderstanding which subsequently leads to quarrels or even wars. Hence, teenagers have the responsibility to study and complete their given tasks, homework or assignment.
In addition, teenagers have the right to participate in family, cultural and social life. Teenagers should learn to mix well with others be it a Malay, a Chinese or an Indian. For example, teenagers should be actively involved in the activities held in the residential areas such as ‘gotong-royong’. Besides, teenagers are also responsible to help around the house. To illustrate, they can help in the household chores such as sweeping and mopping the floor, wiping the window, wash the clothes and others. These can help to shape the teenagers to be more responsible and be more independent.
Nowadays, the teenagers appear to be revolting throughout the world. On top of that, teenagers today succumb to various influences. For instance, moral values and graciousness, in the past, were prominent in most teenagers. However, these moral values and self-discipline hold by the teenagers are gradually diminishing over the years. This lack of self-discipline and self control is becoming more and more apparent over time. Even the simplest of morals say, respect, care and consideration are fading away over the years. In particular, a simple display of respect like offering the elderly a seat on the bus is being replaced by other violent acts.
Furthermore, teenagers today tend to lead a modern lifestyle as compared to the teenagers in the past. Unlike those days, teenagers are forced to stay at home playing all kinds of simple games; teenagers today have variety of choice or games, for example, computer games. Teenagers too, seem to like the same kind of things and adopt similar fashions. In particular, walkman and modern hand phones seem to be inseparable for the teenagers. The long hairstyle of the teenagers of the western countries has also become very common in our country. Moreover, teenagers today often staying up late or even involving in social ills. It’s very sad to hear that the percentage of teenagers involved in social ills is increasing. Hence, some actions must be taken to stop the teenagers from continue to abuse themselves.
In a nutshell, teenagers, the cream of the society, must not be allowed to move on the path of destruction. The home and the school have a tremendous responsibility in shaping the character of the teenagers. The teenagers need people to advise them, guide them, and to lead and show them the path of righteous and enjoyable activities. The correct directions given to teenagers can help them to be good and useful men of tomorrow.
Some Diet Plans For Overweight Teenage Boys
Sunday, July 19th, 2009If you have ever been looking for diet plans for overweight teenage boys, then you are in luck. Many teenage boys are overweight, even some of the more active ones. From football players to baseball players, overweight teenage boys can be found doing all sorts of different things. It does not matter what race they are or what types of activities they do or what all they eat for supper. Overweight teenage boys can be found from all walks of life.
Many have a stereotypical idea that all overweight teenage boys indulge in video games for hours upon end and simply do not get the proper exercise that is required in order to help maintain a healthy body weight. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Even in teenage boys that participate in active sports, some will find themselves still being overweight. Whether they play tennis, golf, baseball, or chess, these overweight teenage boys are found in each and every niche.
Finding the right diet plans for overweight teenage boys can be extremely difficult. Even if you find the right exercise plan for the particular teenager, it might simply not be enough. One might try to resort to other methods, such as diet pills, but this is not always the best way to go. Sometimes the answer can be much simpler than to resort to buying diet pills. Sometimes, the answer is as simple as taking a combination of actions in order to help that teenager lose weight.
The first step is to ensure that the teenager is on a good, healthy diet. Remember that teenagers are always growing, and so they need more energy than you might think. This can make it hard to determine just how much is too much, but with time and patience, and a little luck, you can usually determine what is just right for your specific teenager. Not only should you pay attention to how much is in the diet, but you must also pay attention to what is in the diet. Growing teenagers need a wide variety of nutrients. Vitamin and other dietary supplements can help to ensure that your teenager is getting all of the vitamins and nutrients he needs, though you cannot depend entirely on them.
After having determined the right diet for your teenager, try to get him on an exercise plan that helps to ensure that he is active. If he is already involved in active sports, then this, combined with his new healthy diet, should help to ensure that your teenager begins to lose weight. It can be truly amazing how much of a difference dieting and exercise when combined can make in a teenage boy’s life, or in the lives of others. He will have more energy and be more confident in himself and his abilities. Diet plans for overweight teenage boys can be the perfect way to motivate your teenager and help him feel good about himself.